Once some clients have decided they want a "new life", they, understandably, want that new life to start as soon as possible. For others, the stress and isolation of divorce makes them want to seek out the emotional support of a new partner. Whatever the reason, clients often ask if it's okay for them to start dating while their divorce is pending. The short answer is that dating while your divorce is pending "muddies the waters".
As I have discussed, conduct issues can be a factor in determining the equitable division of marital property and, in some cases, alimony. If your new relationship began after you and your spouse separated, it is considered "post separation conduct." Sometimes, however, it's difficult to prove when a relationship began, especially when it is with someone you knew prior to the separation. You and your co-worker may have only started dating a month ago, but your phone records may suggest that the relationship started much earlier. Also, your spending on your significant other may be used against you. A paper trail of fancy dinners, luxury hotel stays and extravagant gifts is not your friend.
Post separation conduct can also impact custody cases. Behavior while a custody case is pending is often looked at under a microscope. Discretion must be used when introducing your new love interest to your children. In many cases, this is best left to when the divorce is final. Also, make sure you have your priorities in order. If you are asking the court for additional time with your children, relinquishing time with your children to spend it with your significant other is not a good idea.
If you are dating someone, it is important to be honest with your lawyer and the court about it even if you fear they will not approve. Lying about a relationship can be considered worse than the relationship itself.
Every circumstance is different. If you want to start dating, get legal advice first so you understand how the legal implications apply to your particular case.
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