How To Catch a Cheater in the Information Age

As a divorce attorney, I see my fair share to adultery. In some respects, it's easier to cheat in the information age with smartphones allowing cheaters to meet online and to answer calls from their spouses and pretend to be at work when they are actually in a motel room around the corner. On the flip side, the information age makes it much easier to get caught because there's an electronic "stamp" for virtually everything we do. If you suspect your spouse is cheating, here are a few things to consider.

Look for attempts to conceal electronic evidence of cheating. Does your spouse suddenly change the address on their credit card and cell phone bills to go their office instead of the house? Have they started to spend more cash rather than using credit cards? Do they "accidentally" leave their cell phones locked in their car? Did they change their passwords or password protect their computer so you cannot log on?

Another trend we see is the "cheating phone." Cheating spouses often have a second cell phone, usually a disposable cell phone, that they only use with their lover so that their regular phone and phone bill appear above board. Look at credit card bills and bank statements for evidence of a phone purchase or phone bill payment that you do not recognize. Also listen for ringtones you don't recognize.

Even if a spouse has a cheating phone you still may be able to find some evidence of cheating on their regular cell phone bill. Some phone bills tell you where the call originated. Close inspection may lead you to discover that your spouse who works in Decatur called you at 10:00 p.m. last week from "work" but the call actually originated from Marietta.

Some cheating spouses frequent strip clubs, massage parlours, and paid escort services. Many of these places have innocent names that appear on credit card statements. For example, Atlanta adult entertainment club The Pink Pony will show up as "Trop Inc." on a credit card statement. If you see a charge on a credit or debit card statement that you do not recognize, Google the name of the establishment listed on the bill or call the credit card company or bank and find out the true name behind the charge.

If you have a divorce case pending, you can use the subpoena powers of the court to obtain credit card statements, phone bills, bank statements and other evidence of adultery. In one case, I was able to obtain a spouse's swipe card records from their gym to show they were not where they said they were each night.

I find that many of my clients are better than any of the private detectives I have had to hire when it comes to catching a cheating spouse. At the same time, I caution anyone wanting to play Sherlock Holmes to consult with a lawyer about what is and is not legal when it comes to snooping. The law is this area is constantly evolving to keep up with growing technology. So, before you put a gps device on your spouse's car or hack into their email accounts, make sure that you are not breaking the law in the process.

Share |